Thursday, August 5, 2010

Off Kilter (aka Out of Kilter) :)

It was an off-day from the beginning - from BEFORE the beginning! I didn't sleep last night (or for the past week, for that matter), with my own tossing & turning coupled with Charlotte's own tossings, turnings, and crying-for-mom fits. So I'm tired. Plus I had a (great!) 20 mile run yesterday, so my body is fatigued anyway. All night long I kept checking the time. I was worried I'd sleep through my alarms (I set 2 of them on my watch at 5 minutes apart, just in case. But I still worried). I was excited for this morning's bike ride. Of course, I fell asleep deeply around 4am. My first alarm went off at 5 am. Suddenly I wasn't excited anymore. I was just plain weary. But since I was meeting people I knew I had to get up. Off-kilter with my one-hour sleep, things just got worse. I saw that my back tire was low, so I did my best to pump it up. I couldn't get it to 120 psi. I could only get around 80 (yes, I'm a wimp). My ignorance saved Jeff's sleep - if I'd known better I would've woken him up to help me.
My day kept getting more out of whack. I met one friend, waited for another, she didn't show, so at 5:36 we left. I had my phone on silent or I would've got the friend's call at 5:38 that she was there and wondering which route we took...she ended up going the opposite way we'd gone. I didn't see her message until 10am. Darn it! I really wanted her in the ride!
Only a mile or so into the ride a car pulled out of a side street right in front of us. We stopped just in time. Thankfully my kilter wasn't THAT off.
Just for the record, I've never claimed to be a cycling pro. I've never even hinted at knowing anything about biking. So nobody can blame me for not knowing you don't ride on a low tire. Why? Jeff told me it leads to something he calls "pinch flats." The low tire gets pinched in the rim and suddenly the low air turns to no air. It took me only two miles. Actually 2.3. I stopped, thoroughly frustrated, and sent my friend off to meet up with another friend. I rode homeward about a block before my tire was too low to ride anymore. The next 2 miles I walked my bike home. I was glad that I didn't have clips, that I was riding in my running shoes. It made walking easier. But I was annoyed. And tired. And feeling disoriented by the whole no-sleep/no-ride combination. I missed my ride! Walking home I couldn't help thinking that a 2 mile bike ride/2 mile walk was definitely not worth the night of insomnia.
I tried to make the best of things though. Since I was tired anyway I decided to go back to bed. That was dumb. Right when I fell asleep the kids woke up. And Charlotte had wet her bed. So I crawled out of bed again (for the 2nd time that morning and the umpteenth time since bedtime the night before), washed her, changed her and her bed, and agreed to let her come into my bed. I hoped she wouldn't wake Jeff. I hoped she'd settle down and let me sleep. I hoped for a lot of things.
Nothing worked out the way I hoped today.
I won't go through a blow-by-blow recount of today. I'll just give some examples, and also say I was disoriented all day, I couldn't ever seem to get control of things or on top of all the things to do, that everything was just "off." So, for example, as soon as I thought I was finished with the three or four tasks left to do, I'd realize there were another three or four after. It was crazy. I finished cooking dinner, took some to my parents feeling like I was done, and when I walked outside I saw the backyard - it needed cleaning up. And the flowers needed watering. Then when I went inside I realized I still had to clean up the kitchen. I finished those chores, thinking that was it, then heard the dryer go off and remembered the laundry, then turned to see I hadn't taken the cookie dough out of the mixer yet (to refrigerate), and then realized the dishwasher was done so I had to empty that...Meanwhile, I had my children to attend to. They played so well and so creatively today. "Creatively" is synonymous with "messy" in my house. I just couldn't get everything done. By 5pm though it all settled down. I hadn't sat down once all day, except for the first two miles on my bike. I got the kids changed into their soccer clothes, set out their dinner, then - surprising to us all - I pulled up a stool and sat down with them! All day long I had just wanted to sit and read to my kids, and I never got to. So at dinner I didn't eat, instead I read to them. That was the best part of the day. That was when I felt balanced.
It didn't last long. I had an old (ie, "wrong") soccer schedule, which said all three kids had games at 6pm at three different places. I begged my dad to take Oliver, Jeff got home in time to take Sam, and Charlotte came with me to take Eleanor to her game. Well, come to find out Oliver had no game tonight and Eleanor's was changed to 8pm. Charlotte, Oliver, Eleanor and I showed up late to Sam's game to cheer him on, then came home to wash up Charlotte (dirt everywhere!) before we were supposed to go to Eleanor's game. I think Somebody must've known I'd had as much as I could handle because right before her game the clouds rolled in, the lightning storm started, the rain poured down, and we knew there would be no soccer for Eleanor. That meant I could get the kids to bed early. Jeff had a meeting at 8:30 so he helped get them ready before he left, then all I had to do was read scriptures with them all, send the boys to their rooms to read on their own, and read to the girls. Lights out at 9:15.
I made it through this day by gritting my teeth. My jaw hurts.
Oh, the kids and I did do one memorable thing: I took the girls running in the stroller (I HAD to make up for my missed workout this morning) while the boys rode their bikes next to/ahead of me. It was really fun. They turned back early and the girls and I kept going. I pushed them down a Super Fast Steep Hill. Generally, we continue around the corner, make a big loop and go home a gentler way. But today, since I wasn't thinking straight, I turned around at the bottom, of the Super Fast Steep Hill and decided to run straight back up, pushing the girls of course. I've done it once before - 2 years ago - and remember thinking I'd never do it again. The girls are now 2 years bigger and heavier. WHAT was I thinking!? It was terrible. It was so hard. It was a crazy, wicked workout. I loved that my girls were cheering me on ("Go, Mommy, go!") and when it was over I loved that I had finished. I don't think I'll ever do it again, though.
Hmm, looking on the bright side, perhaps that run was a better workout than my missed bike-ride?

No comments:

Post a Comment